The good and the unbelievable

Firstly I want to thank you all for your comments and advice. It truly made me feel so comforted to receive all your good wishes. By this morning the spotting was less. I went to see Dr Ding-Dong. I joked when I saw him that did he really expect to get rid of me for two whole weeks. He smiled and said that he didn't really think I'd stay away that long. When I saw the first image my heart almost stopped because I could see the yolk sac but I couldn't see the little flicker of the heart beat. Then all of a sudden there it was flashing away. Dr Ding-Dong turned up the volume and the sound of heart beat filled the room. He said it measured about 7 weeks and 2 days. I am 7 weeks and 3 days so I'm happy with that. There was no sign of any bleeding. Then he checked the second sac which was still quite a bit smaller then the first one and there right before my eyes..... was a second heartbeat. Holy crap. I hadn't even thought of that. Last week that second sac didn't even seem to have a yolk sac. Now it has a heart beat. Dr Ding-Dong cautioned me that it was early days and it was quite a bit smaller but he measured the heartbeat at 126 and the baby measured 6 weeks and 6 days so it is not really too far behind the other one. I'm pretty gobsmacked right now. I'm also scared- both that we will have two babies and that maybe we won't. B has named the babies Alf and Betty for Alpha and Beta. I go back in on Monday for another scan. If all is well Dr Ding Dong is kicking me out to see my Ob-Gyn. A lot of our friends know we are pregnant but we're keeping it quiet about the twins TWINS!!! for now, at least until next weeks U/S.

It was all going a little too smoothly.

So, I haven't been posting for a few reasons. 1. I love reading all the other blogs. You ladies and gentlemen of infertility bloglandia are fascinating. 2. I don't really know what to write about. 3. I go to bed at 8pm because I'm so tired. I have all the normal pregnancy symptoms, morning and evening sickenss sans vomiting, extreme fatigue, huge boobies etc etc but it seems kind of boring to write about that. I just don't have the ability that some people do to make it funny or interesting. My body, trying to help with my lack of posting decided to give me something to write about. Last night I started some brown spotting/flow. Help me out here ladies because I have difficulty with the definition. Spotting is pretty easy- You have spots on your knickers, but flow.......when does spotting become flow? What is the definition? I am sailing in murky waters and believe me it is murky down there. I have spotting but when I wipe there is quite liquidy brown stuff on the TP. Isn't that flow? I need a second opinion- someone who can hang out in my bathroom so I can do a quick consultation. I would love to hear your experiences,advice, even assvice about your friends, sisters sister-in laws cousin twice removed who had exactly the same thing and went on to deliver twins even though all along she was only expecting a singleton. In this case it will make me feel better. I did call the clinic this morning and they had be come in for a P4 level. It is above 40 (they won't have a more exact number today) which the nurse says is perfect. I have been off the PIO for 10 days and am on vaginal supps twice a day. Tomorrow I see Dr Ding-Dong for an U/S just to put my mind at rest. The nurse said she is not at all worried but she knows I won't be at ease until I get an U/S. She feels that maybe the second gestational sac that is non viable is causing this. They are so nice at my clinic. They get it. In my heart I feel that everythig is ok for now but my mind is working overtime with all the what if's. I have some very mild cramping and I'm scared. I'm glad I only have to wait until tomorrow to check that everything is ok.

Ultrasound Results

I am so sorry for not posting. We had our ultrasound on Friday morning and then went out of town for the weekend and I had no computer access. We saw and heard our baby's heartbeat at 6 weeks exactly. There is a second gestational sac but it is much smaller and there does not seem to be a yolk sac. Dr Ding-Dong said there was a tiny possibility it might be viable but it is unlikely. We are so happy. B finally believes I am pregnant. Of course now I'm back in the waiting period again for my next u/s in two weeks. I have to rush off now because work beckons. Before I go I want to say a big thank you to all my friends in blogland for your support, even though some of you are going through difficult and trying times. I'll post more on this later. I just want you to know that I think about you every day.

OK, If you insist......

You know you've been a bad blogger when your blogfriends have to leave comments on your last post demanding an update. I've been spending my time reading everyone else's blogs. I feel that I just don't have much to write and I am in utter disbelief that I might actually be pregnant. I never thought I would ever say those words. I am so worried that this might be taken away from me at any moment. I was supposed to go back in this Friday for my second beta- a whole bloody week. Of course by Monday I was tearing my hair out so I called up and begged for another beta which I had yesterday. It was 905 for a doubling time of 1.77 days. That made me happy for about 10 minutes. Ms Prufrock delicately commented "Now :::ahem::: "all" you have to do is wait 2 weeks for the ultrasound." She must think I'm impatient or something!!!! I am scheduled for my first U/S on February 10th , which is 6 weeks exactly and even my wiley charms won't procure one before that. The nurse kindly pointed out that I might not see a heart beat so I could wait until the following week if I wanted to give it a few extra days and I said fuck no, thank you very much but I'd rather come in on the 10th and take my chances. My focus is now on gestational sac and at the very least that is what I hope to see. Moving away from the numbers for a bit, I already have fatigue of the sort where I want to lie down in the middle of my meetings and have a nap and I have ever so slight nausea of the sort where eating makes it feel better. That in itself is rather worrying as I wouldn't call myself a little slip of a girl. In other news, my darling B is taking me away on a romantic weekend here. I'm excited to see the gorgeous rugby bodies the talented rugby players do their thing. I will be the only sober spectator I expect and, our friends are thrilled to have a designated driver, but I'm not complaining about that. I am disappointed that Eire are not playing. B is a Sasanach so he will be cheering for them of course.